Josi Patti ‘27

REPORTER

Ah, the sweet sound of the words “course selection” rolls right off the tongue of teachers, parents, and guidance counselors repeatedly each year. There’s nothing more exhilarating than selecting which math class will make you pull all-nighters to study for them, or the rush you feel when making the significant decision between the science classes: you have to take into consideration which one will assign the most homework. There are many options, yet you’ll find yourself staring down blankly at the course catalog. How does one choose from such a wide assortment? Are you even interested in what you’re taking? With these suggestions, the high school course catalog could have a touch more flair to it and maybe even pique a few students’ interests.

Starting strong, adding an AP Color Theory class would be a popular decision. This highly rigorous course would consist of matching color palettes to different skin tones and deciding which is best. From warm summer palettes to cool winter, each cloth harmonizes and drastically changes your appearance. After mastering this class, and of course, acing the exams by throwing color palettes on random people, you could become a fashion icon. Walk the streets with radiance in your orange, because you are an autumn. Tell the girl next to you that she shouldn’t be wearing that shade of pink because she’s a summer. Brag to everyone that you are a trained color theorist. They’ll be jealous!

Imagine having a Learning to Zillow 101 course. So many factors could be taught in this class. If there’s one thing you’ll become an expert at, it will be to have no shame stalking strangers’ houses online. From one cover photo of a home to the next, it would lead us to then form strong inquiries. We’d obviously have to learn the logistics of the home such as: does the house have a modernized kitchen that’s to die for? What type of doorknobs does this house possess? Does it have an open floor plan? How many bedrooms, bathrooms, or showers are there? Searching for the most extravagant homes located approximately 18 hours away could provide students with the essential life skills of the practicality and significance of Zillow. Some current users would say they feel empty or lost without it, contributing to why it’s a valid course to be offered all year round. I would totally take it!

This one is for everyone who loathes gym class with a burning passion. Walking for Fitness class would occur during your required gym elective or for anyone who would rather stride long distances at a slow pace. Still getting their physical exercise, a majority of the students would certainly benefit more from wandering aimlessly than begrudgingly playing knockout or kickball. Additionally, if they spend more time walking outside, maybe they’ll spend less time wandering the halls! In Walking for Fitness, we’ll cover some serious ground – far, far away from the sweaty gym games and any ball-involved sport. Ditch the pinnies, put on some running shoes, and walking class will take off!

Step aside Starbucks, with an Intro to Barista class, students could become professional in their coffee-making skills. This course would offer in-depth instruction on how to construct masterpieces of lattes, mochas, and frappuccinos. This course beats trigonometry, as you might even need the vanilla espresso to get you through it. Unleash your inner back-seat barista and you’ll no longer spend a million dollars each day on caffeinated drinks. 

We’ve learned about all of the drama that has happened throughout history, but let’s get serious; the hottest topics nowadays include more interesting subjects. Let’s offer a Hot Topics class; for people desperate to know the latest gossip in modern-day adolescent society. Discussions could include: “Is Pitbull really bald or does he shave or cover it?” “Is JoJo Siwa’s new song really a bop or flop?” “Will Taylor Swift's relationship last?” Whether you’re seeking to be hip with the social culture or are in touch with the latest drama, this course is just for you! It would delve into the trendy chitchat, and fully entertain students ‒ even while knowing it’s none of your business, and has no relation to you. 

So, as you select your courses, ask yourself, “Am I really fulfilled with Honors Chemistry or AP World History?” Why take those boring courses when you could be in the hot gossip and enrich your knowledge in the lengthy ventures of Zillowing? If you had the chance, would you enlist in any of these as part of your curriculum to spice up your schedule? Ponder this as you drink your venti iced caramel macchiato with 8 shots of espresso and 7 pumps of maple pecan sauce.