Jack Robbins ‘25

RIPE EDITOR

Ever since people began to realize that the Eagles had a real shot at the Super Bowl, Eagles fans began emerging from the shadows like bears leaving their caves after hibernation. Except, these fans aren’t real fans; they’re just claiming to be fans. They are like hot dogs claiming to be sandwiches. Anyone with eyes can see hot dogs are not sandwiches, just as anyone with eyes can see that these fans are not Eagles fans.

I hold respect for those fans who have held strong through the tumultuous Eagles journey throughout the years and have rightfully earned a celebration. If these fans were an expedition party searching for a forbidden treasure worth an incalculable amount, then these fake fans would be unwanted hitchhikers joining the party right before the treasure is found.

Okay, okay, I understand new fans who are just beginning to enjoy football and the Eagles because of their recent success, but please don’t pretend like you have been a fan all along, and an expert at that. I mean, for goodness sake, I’d bet some of these fans have never even watched a full game before. Also, for those who have switched teams because of the success of the Eagles, you can be better. You guys are like the Kevin Durants of football fans.

For now, I will leave you with my closing thoughts in the form of a poem:

To all fake Eagles fans, I mean no offense

But please name three players on the defense

Recently there’s been a spike in those dressed in green

And for some reason, all their favorite players are

Cooper Dejean

Sko birds, Sko birds is all I ever hear

From those who at the start, didn’t even cheer

But at the end of the day, I am happy that the Eagles

won

So all the fans, fake or real, can come together and

have some fun